Fantastic Four
Thursday, 28 April 2016
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Some Spoilers.
I completely empathise everyone else who has seen this film now. If I had seen it alongside the expectation that the trailer gave me instead of the expectation I got afterward after seeing the Rotten Tomatoes score, I would convey been mad too.
I spell agone I watched a conspiracy theory video that humorously suggested the persuasion that all Fantastic Four movies are really satires of what superhero film of their twenty-four hours are; purposefully beingness terrible films to indicate out flaws in addition to pitfalls, thus setting the film footing dorsum inward order. Like a League of Shadows inward cinema form. I persuasion it was a corking idea, but likely untrue. Until I saw Fant4stic. Now I'm non so sure, because if this film was trying to fully live all the worst things yous tin run into inward a superhero film today inward social club to satirize it, it couldn't convey done a improve job.
First off, it's really cookie-cutter inward form. Starting alongside backstory -- kid genius Reed Richards (Miles Teller) builds a transporter to an unknown location, in addition to when he figures out how to contrary the transport, Dr. Storm (Reg E. Cathey) recruits him to his lab where he's been working unsuccessfully on the same project. Then they "build the team" (and the transporter) using typical in addition to cliched methods. There's Sue (Kate Mara) Dr. Storm's adopted daughter, Johnny (Michael B. Jordan) his careless, out of command son. Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell) is a sullen, cynical outcast type. And of course of report there's Reed's childhood friend Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) who supported Reed's dream though his years equally a laughing stock, in addition to thence couldn't live left out of his 2nd of success.
Then in i lawsuit they're all together, stupidity happens! The transporter works, in addition to the bad guy (the two-act bad guy who fills inward for Doom until he's fix that is) (Tim Blake Nelson) wants to larn NASA involved to post people through to explore the whole novel footing on the other side. And he's totally correct to desire this. It's literally a new, unknown footing there, yous would need to post through people who are trained for every imaginable eventuality in addition to disciplined to live cautious in addition to cool-headed. You would not desire to post a bunch of big-headed nerds whose brains are besides filled alongside genius to live bothered alongside trivial things similar mutual sense. Perfectly, the alone non smart somebody there, Ben, is the alone i alongside whatever mutual sense or caution, but of course of report his wisdom is ignored in addition to the trip ends alongside disaster in addition to the gaining of superpowers. Yay!
This is virtually halfway through the film now, because, equally yous know, if yous desire to brand a serious superhero film yous convey to convey lots of setup in addition to hold off equally long equally possible to bring out the comic-book-y stuff. And here, the comic-book-y materials is where it gets really disappointing. The CGI is the worst matter ever. The Thing looks pretty expert -- mostly realistic, but the blueprint is a piffling dopey alongside the human eyes -- but Mr. Fantastic's stretchiness is so bad that it's almost non fifty-fifty funny. Almost. The effects elsewhere are randomly spotty. Also Sue's Glinda-bubble is agency besides dizzy in addition to agency besides reminiscent of The Wizard of Oz to belong inward such a straight-faced movie. (Unless of course, the right away human face upwards is a facade...)
Let's speak virtually character. To larn them out of the way, Sue is dull equally expected; Johnny is charmless though he's hateful to live charming. Comic relief from him (and elsewhere) is written painfully bad in addition to is alone a relief when it's over. Doom is trite, in addition to so boring, in addition to lacks anything compelling. Reed was confusing. I kept watching him, thinking "Miles Teller isn't a bad actor. He's non fifty-fifty acting badly. He tin brighten upwards a Divergent film for goodness sake! Why is this so bad?" It was a clash of the actor's talent in addition to the script's extreme terribleness, in addition to I'm pretty certain Teller handled it equally good equally tin live expected, but the script even so won.
I really desire to speak virtually Ben. No exaggeration, the 2 or iii minutes where Jamie Bell's human face upwards was on enshroud where the alone times this cinema showed fifty-fifty a spark of liveliness. He really used facial expressions in addition to didn't convey to battle alongside the script besides much. In fact, the script served him a piffling yesteryear giving him or so interesting graphic symbol development, where he feels left behind when Reed leaves, yet in i lawsuit he joins him, he feels out of house in addition to out of depth. This almost goes inward a expert direction after the superpowers come, because equally nosotros all know, Ben's powers are the biggest burden. Literally. And nosotros really experience for him when he's abandoned yesteryear Reed, specially after he himself was such a good, encouraging friend. But afterward this conflict that could live compelling turns into a petty squabble, earlier beingness resolved yesteryear -- hold off for it -- absolutely nothing, for i lastly disappointing slap to the face.
The film ends so lazily, alongside the iv coming upwards alongside their squad yell inward the most painfully contrived agency conceivable. ("Fantastic Four" is such an obvious yell -- none of those geniuses could remember of it off the exceed of their head? They had to create a whole bit? Really?) It also ends at the exact location where it seems similar if it had continued it powerfulness convey really gotten improve from there, but instead leaves alongside the hope of sequel that nosotros know volition never hand off which is deplorable inward so many ways.
Coming dorsum to the conspiracy, I convey to cite that spell this film was really bad inward almost every aspect, it genuinely felt equally though it was precisely what it meant to be. The writing was cliched in addition to horrendous, but inward a practiced, fifty-fifty professional person way. And the film was unbearably dull in addition to lifeless, but was unapologetic in addition to confident virtually it. There was null worthwhile inward the whole cinema except i infinitesimal of Jamie Bell's enshroud time, in addition to the film's strange, unjustified sense of confidence. Watching it equally a satire in addition to thinking that maybe the terribleness was done purposefully helped me savour agency to a greater extent than than I perhaps could convey otherwise, but the fact remains: Bad movies are bad movies. And Fant4stic... it's bad.
I completely empathise everyone else who has seen this film now. If I had seen it alongside the expectation that the trailer gave me instead of the expectation I got afterward after seeing the Rotten Tomatoes score, I would convey been mad too.
 |
| As they tell inward the movies: It's clobberin' time! |
I spell agone I watched a conspiracy theory video that humorously suggested the persuasion that all Fantastic Four movies are really satires of what superhero film of their twenty-four hours are; purposefully beingness terrible films to indicate out flaws in addition to pitfalls, thus setting the film footing dorsum inward order. Like a League of Shadows inward cinema form. I persuasion it was a corking idea, but likely untrue. Until I saw Fant4stic. Now I'm non so sure, because if this film was trying to fully live all the worst things yous tin run into inward a superhero film today inward social club to satirize it, it couldn't convey done a improve job.
First off, it's really cookie-cutter inward form. Starting alongside backstory -- kid genius Reed Richards (Miles Teller) builds a transporter to an unknown location, in addition to when he figures out how to contrary the transport, Dr. Storm (Reg E. Cathey) recruits him to his lab where he's been working unsuccessfully on the same project. Then they "build the team" (and the transporter) using typical in addition to cliched methods. There's Sue (Kate Mara) Dr. Storm's adopted daughter, Johnny (Michael B. Jordan) his careless, out of command son. Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell) is a sullen, cynical outcast type. And of course of report there's Reed's childhood friend Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) who supported Reed's dream though his years equally a laughing stock, in addition to thence couldn't live left out of his 2nd of success.
 |
| Miles Teller, delight halt beingness inward terrible movies. |
Then in i lawsuit they're all together, stupidity happens! The transporter works, in addition to the bad guy (the two-act bad guy who fills inward for Doom until he's fix that is) (Tim Blake Nelson) wants to larn NASA involved to post people through to explore the whole novel footing on the other side. And he's totally correct to desire this. It's literally a new, unknown footing there, yous would need to post through people who are trained for every imaginable eventuality in addition to disciplined to live cautious in addition to cool-headed. You would not desire to post a bunch of big-headed nerds whose brains are besides filled alongside genius to live bothered alongside trivial things similar mutual sense. Perfectly, the alone non smart somebody there, Ben, is the alone i alongside whatever mutual sense or caution, but of course of report his wisdom is ignored in addition to the trip ends alongside disaster in addition to the gaining of superpowers. Yay!
This is virtually halfway through the film now, because, equally yous know, if yous desire to brand a serious superhero film yous convey to convey lots of setup in addition to hold off equally long equally possible to bring out the comic-book-y stuff. And here, the comic-book-y materials is where it gets really disappointing. The CGI is the worst matter ever. The Thing looks pretty expert -- mostly realistic, but the blueprint is a piffling dopey alongside the human eyes -- but Mr. Fantastic's stretchiness is so bad that it's almost non fifty-fifty funny. Almost. The effects elsewhere are randomly spotty. Also Sue's Glinda-bubble is agency besides dizzy in addition to agency besides reminiscent of The Wizard of Oz to belong inward such a straight-faced movie. (Unless of course, the right away human face upwards is a facade...)
 |
| Convenient that I can't notice photos of whatever of this dizzy stuff... isn't it? |
Let's speak virtually character. To larn them out of the way, Sue is dull equally expected; Johnny is charmless though he's hateful to live charming. Comic relief from him (and elsewhere) is written painfully bad in addition to is alone a relief when it's over. Doom is trite, in addition to so boring, in addition to lacks anything compelling. Reed was confusing. I kept watching him, thinking "Miles Teller isn't a bad actor. He's non fifty-fifty acting badly. He tin brighten upwards a Divergent film for goodness sake! Why is this so bad?" It was a clash of the actor's talent in addition to the script's extreme terribleness, in addition to I'm pretty certain Teller handled it equally good equally tin live expected, but the script even so won.
I really desire to speak virtually Ben. No exaggeration, the 2 or iii minutes where Jamie Bell's human face upwards was on enshroud where the alone times this cinema showed fifty-fifty a spark of liveliness. He really used facial expressions in addition to didn't convey to battle alongside the script besides much. In fact, the script served him a piffling yesteryear giving him or so interesting graphic symbol development, where he feels left behind when Reed leaves, yet in i lawsuit he joins him, he feels out of house in addition to out of depth. This almost goes inward a expert direction after the superpowers come, because equally nosotros all know, Ben's powers are the biggest burden. Literally. And nosotros really experience for him when he's abandoned yesteryear Reed, specially after he himself was such a good, encouraging friend. But afterward this conflict that could live compelling turns into a petty squabble, earlier beingness resolved yesteryear -- hold off for it -- absolutely nothing, for i lastly disappointing slap to the face.
 |
| As The Thing his phonation is heavily edited equally well. It was similar he only disappeared from the movie. |
The film ends so lazily, alongside the iv coming upwards alongside their squad yell inward the most painfully contrived agency conceivable. ("Fantastic Four" is such an obvious yell -- none of those geniuses could remember of it off the exceed of their head? They had to create a whole bit? Really?) It also ends at the exact location where it seems similar if it had continued it powerfulness convey really gotten improve from there, but instead leaves alongside the hope of sequel that nosotros know volition never hand off which is deplorable inward so many ways.
Coming dorsum to the conspiracy, I convey to cite that spell this film was really bad inward almost every aspect, it genuinely felt equally though it was precisely what it meant to be. The writing was cliched in addition to horrendous, but inward a practiced, fifty-fifty professional person way. And the film was unbearably dull in addition to lifeless, but was unapologetic in addition to confident virtually it. There was null worthwhile inward the whole cinema except i infinitesimal of Jamie Bell's enshroud time, in addition to the film's strange, unjustified sense of confidence. Watching it equally a satire in addition to thinking that maybe the terribleness was done purposefully helped me savour agency to a greater extent than than I perhaps could convey otherwise, but the fact remains: Bad movies are bad movies. And Fant4stic... it's bad.